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How I work
I See Patterns Most People Miss
When burnt-out high-achievers come to me saying they're "just really busy" or "struggling with work-life balance," I see beneath that:
Nervous systems stuck in survival mode for so long they've forgotten what safety feels like.
Identities so fused with their jobs that logging off feels like losing themselves.
Worthiness wounds so deep that rest must be earned through exhaustion.
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I know this work intimately because I've lived it. I spent years working 50+ hours a week, sitting in back-to-back meetings, measuring my worth by my productivity, checking emails in bed, terrified to slow down because I didn't know who I was without the constant doing.
I was externally successful and internally dying.
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The transformation wasn't comfortable. It required questioning everything—my identity as "the capable one who always delivers," my belief that worth must be earned, my addiction to being needed by everyone. It meant feeling years of suppressed emotions. Grieving the person I thought I had to be. Sitting with the terror of not knowing who I was without the achievements.
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But on the other side: I now work 30 hours a week with deep satisfaction. I know who I am independent of what I do.
My nervous system is regulated- calm is my baseline, not constant low-grade anxiety. I'm successful AND I actually enjoy my life. I can take spontaneous days off. I'm present with my family. I don't measure my worth by my to-do list anymore.
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That transformation- from success-through-sacrifice to success-through-alignment- is what I guide my clients through.
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My work synthesises 15+ years of study and practice across NLP, hypnotherapy, public health, somatic and nervous system science, attachment theory, and embodiment practices. But more important than my credentials is this:
I've walked this path. I know the territory. And I can guide you through it.
The Three-Layer Approach to Lasting Transformation
Layer 1: Nervous System Regulation
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The Physiological Foundation
Your autonomic nervous system has been in survival mode for so long that it's forgotten what safety feels like. You wake up checking your emails. You work an hour before the kids get up. You promise yourself "just one more hour" every evening. Your body literally interprets rest as danger.
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We use somatic practices, breathwork, and embodiment work to systematically retrain your nervous system. We're not managing your stress- we're rewiring the physiological patterns that create it. This is grounded in polyvagal theory, somatic experiencing, and nervous system science.
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Until your body feels safe to rest, no amount of cognitive understanding or strategic planning will create sustainable change.
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Layer 2: Identity Reconstruction
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The Psychological Structure
You've built your entire sense of self around being "the capable one," "the one who gets things done," "the high performer who always delivers." But that identity is collapsing under its own weight- and you're terrified because you don't know who you are without it.
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We work together to gently deconstruct the identity you had to be to succeed and achieve, and we reconstruct one based on who you actually are- not what you do. This means feeling the relief of releasing the pressure and discovering yourself beneath the performance.
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This work integrates attachment theory, and identity development frameworks. And it's where the deepest freedom lives.
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Layer 3: Belief System Transformation
The Meaning-Making
At the core of your overworking is a belief system that equates worth with output. You've internalised the message that you're only valuable when you're producing, that rest must be earned, that taking time off means you're lazy or not committed enough.
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We dismantle the worthiness = productivity equation and build a new belief system rooted in inherent value. Not because you've done anything or achieved anything-but because you exist.
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This isn't affirmations or positive thinking. This is deep excavation of where these beliefs came from, why they made sense at one time, and consciously choosing different truths to organise your life around.
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This work brings in Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and transformational coaching to support you to step into a new life.
This Work Is For You If:
✓ You're a senior professional, manager, or director earning £50k+ who's externally successful but internally shattered
✓ Your identity is completely wrapped up in your job-you don't know who you are when you're not being productive, and you're terrified to find out
✓ Your nervous system is in permanent overdrive-you check emails in bed, work through lunch, can't switch off, and "just one more hour" is your evening mantra
✓ You've tried books, free challenges, and working even harder-but nothing creates lasting change because they address symptoms, not root causes
✓ You're willing to question everything about your relationship with work and worthiness-even the beliefs you've organised your entire life around
✓ You're ready to feel uncomfortable emotions you've been avoiding through constant busyness-grief, anger, disappointment, fear-because you know they're part of the transformation
✓ You can commit 6-12 months minimum to deep transformation work-you understand this isn't a quick fix
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This Work Is NOT For You If:
✗ You're looking for productivity hacks, time management apps, or quick fixes-I don't help you do more, better, faster; I help you become someone who doesn't create overwhelm in the first place
✗ You want 30-day transformations or magic solutions-real change takes time, and anyone promising faster results is selling fantasy
✗ You need constant reassurance or hand-holding-I hold deep space for your transformation and honour your strength, but I'm not here to rescue you or tell you what to do
✗ You want to be told everything's fine and you just need better systems- with compassion I will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear
✗ You're seeking someone to fix you while you stay the same- this is co-created transformation; I am just your guide, you set the path.
✗ You can't commit the time, money, or emotional energy, I want this investment to be your launch pad not something else to beat yourself up about.
"I'm Finally Living Instead of Just Surviving"
Before we started working together Jennifer, a Senior Accounts Manager, couldn't take holiday without checking emails every day. She measured her worth by how needed she was. Post-it notes covering every surface. Working until midnight then promising tomorrow she'd create a bit more time for herself... until the next task came in. Successful and trapped, fearing that all that mattered to others was what she produced.
Working together we addressed the three layers. Nervous system retraining (her body was stuck in hyper-vigilance- she couldn't sit still for five minutes). Identity reconstruction (she'd been performing "professional Jennifer" for so long she'd lost touch with actual Jennifer). Belief transformation (releasing the "I'm only valuable when I'm needed" story she'd carried since childhood). We stayed in the process, navigating the messy middle together to come out the other side.
After working with me Jennifer changed to a new role within the same organisation and her relationship with work is unrecognisable. Works her hours and leaves- no more evenings and weekends proving herself. Took a three-week holiday with her family and didn't check emails once. Has time for Sunday roasts with friends. Started wild swimming. Most importantly: she knows her worth isn't tied to how much she does.
She said "I spent 20 years building an impressive career I couldn't enjoy. I was surviving, not living. Now I'm finally living. That shift is priceless."